linzi

Ive had my snkle fused and so far so good. Im left with a limp though it looks really dodgy.
My right shoulder still fucked up and my left aint that far behind it anymore, got refferd to a prof in Nottingham, he wants me down there for a week rehab prog exactly the same as i done in Leeds and London but i got to do it or i wont get any treatment for my shoulders. The eds specialist in leeds rekons i should try the capsular shift again but ill have to wait and see what happens after this rehab. I asked the eds specialist about pregnancy ( know its a little early but want to know where i stand)
He said that the chances of me passing eds on to a child is 50/50 but they the chances of them having as sever as me is not very high, as for being able to carry a child in my case he said he really wouldnt want to predict if i could or not. Hope i can cause i really want kids more than anything.

Saw the cpn about my OCD and im getting put on meds she thinks im depressed aswell, fair do's really

I feel like its never ending at the mo its like one big circle round and round it never stops, why wont it stop.

Well Christmas over for another year. Cant believe its been a year already. Turned out to be not a bad one this year, even with my uncle billy over again, the first few days it was like a repeat of last year and really couldnt be done with it.
He told us on boxin day that he has been diagnosed with cancer and that it prob to do with his drinking yet he still drinks.

My right shoulder is totally fucking up it is fucking agony and out really far, its coming to the point where ive taking as much as im willing to take with my shoulder.

At least i wont have to worry about my ankle soon. Only a week on Monday till i get it fused dont know wether im scared or excited about it, excited in a way cause after its over with i will have no more probs with my ankle.

Just realised the post i made bout christmas last year was on the 29th to. weird

Im in pain please someone help.

My right shoulder not been in properly since i got back from the rehab prog in london and been going up to A&E to get it relocated but A&E reffusing to treat me anymore so its been dislocated for a week my hand is blue and tingly i cant bear anything touching my arm or hand its so fucking sore but are they gonna do anything ? Course there fucking not the twats, ive just got to deal with it till i get my op done which should be around march time, im going to end up cutting the fucking thing off by the time i get the op.

Im on the waiting list to get my ankle fussed hopefully get that done within 4 to 6 weeks, their gonna drill a rod through my heel up my leg then fix my ankle with plates and screws, lovely.

Im fucking pissed of with my shoulder and my tics aint helping more i tic worse dislocations are no win situation.

I started smoking hash cause the pain and although its helping with my pain its making my OCD 100 times worse, its making me so paranoid its unbelievable but still i dont stop.
Last week when i was smoking it i was imagining all sorts lol i kept seeing the girl out off the ring coming out my t.v, was constantly checking the doors and kept seeing and hearing things that wernt there, went on a major whity after lol throwing up and everything so not good but hey it helped with the pain so not all bad.

Ever tried rolling a joint with one hand though, its immpossible.

Think im becoming obbsessed with mark owen, omg he is the cutest guy ever whooo hooooo for all the take that prog on t.v yep im a sad take that fan lol

Anyway time for a top up of painkillers knock myself out for a while.

Well i just got back from London yesterday. Was in hospital for 3 weeks rehab. So glad to be home and jump in my own comfy bed and have a bath.
I done loads of physio on my shoulders, hips, posture and core stability. Its giving me more movement in shoulders but my ankles and hips have been coming out like 6 times a day on avrage, its a nightmare.
The first weekend i ended up not well and they has to transfer me to a diff hospital.
I also had loads of O.T  and hydrotherapy stuff like that.
it was knackering

OMG its been ages since ive came on here.
So guess i will fill in whats been happning.
I went down to Leeds for the inpatient assessment, physio O.T etc, they said i would be in for 3 weeks max, well that 3 weeks turned into 7 weeks. The first day i got down their i dislocated my shoulder badly so they sent me to the LGI was in there for 4 days, then when i got back to chappel allerton things were going pretty good, i met jayne from the hypermobility boards, she was in the same time as me it was mint. Then i went in the hydropool and dislocated my hip and they think it trapped a nerve when it went back in and i couldnt walk, so was stuck in a wheelchair for 5 weeks needing help with everything. Prof Bird changed his mind from me having mild EDS to being severly effected. My thumbs and ankles were bad aswell so they refferd me to a hand surgeon for my thumb and foot surgeon to try sort out my ankle and feet.

For my shoulders they refferd me to the Royal National Orthopedic Hospital in London, yep long way to blooody travel.
I was dwn there bout a month ago getting camera's put in both my shoulders, then they said i might benefit from botox injections to paralize the muscles cause apperntly its a muscle pattern problem and then 3 weeks inpatient rehab (again but in london this time). So i had the Botox injections 2 weeks ago and im on my way down to London for the rehab this sunday.

In between times i got discharged from physio back home cause she feels theres nothing more she could do with my hip and had to go back down to leeds to see cath the phytsio and got some new exercises from her, Had to cancell going down to sheffield
to see my friend Kirsty who i made really good friends with in leeds when i was down (shes a nutter )
And ended up in hosp up here cause i couldnt swallow and was dehydrated, turns out its another complication of EDS. The thing in ur throat that stops the food and liquid going into your lungs is to floopy, so got to see a apeech therapist.

Niamh is now at school and she loves it, she is nearly 5 now
Ellis is 6 and a half months old and is sooo cute, always smiling and laughing.

Im stuck on crutches, everything going wrong dislocating constantly, Tourette's and OCD getting sooo much worse (im dx with EDS now)
And thats about all.

I wont leave it so long till i write next time.

Oh had to get our dog Jarvis put down he slipped a disc in his back and severd his spinal cord. So unfair i miss him so much he was only 4

My sister had a baby girl she is now 4 weeks old, her name is Ellis and she is the sweetest thing ever.
But.... theres always a but isnt there. I dont want to go near her, i keep getting thoughts of hurting her, some is the stuff i think is really sick like i get thoughts about suffocating her and stabbing her.
Its not only Ellis though i keep getting thoughs and urges about other things to i have done since i was really young.
Hurting other people, mainly stabbing them and generally causing them harm, but i would never hurt anybody, ever
i was away to take my pain kileers and a thought came into my head bout taking to many off them, a while ago it was jumping off the roof and for some strange reason i wanted to jump infront of a train or touch a hot ring on a cooker.
Night time can be a bit off a nightmare with checking, everything has to be like tripple checked, the windows, doors plugs, under beds, in wardrobes. Half an hour later though i would did i check the door properly so i would go though the same routime again, then again till finally i would manage to get to sleep. Going out is exactly the same i have to check ive got everything constantly, i stop and check my pockets all the time. I think im very lucky though not to have the cleaning compulsioin, that must be the WORST thing ever to try and deal with.
Any way another moan bout something kindoff realatedive got a stamp foot tic at the moment and yesterday it was REALLY bad, i had to stamp my foot really hard over and over till it felt right, well me having dodgy joints dislocated my knee while stamping my foot, fell and broke a few ribs.at least the other tics have calmed down there going though a good phase at the mo so lets hope it lasts.

My sister had a baby girl she is now 4 weeks old, her name is Ellis and she is the sweetest thing ever.
But.... theres always a but isnt there. I dont want to go near her, i keep getting thoughts of hurting her, some is the stuff i think is really sick like i get thoughts about suffocating her and stabbing her.
Its not only Ellis though i keep getting thoughs and urges about other things to i have done since i was really young.
Hurting other people, mainly stabbing them and generally causing them harm, but i would never hurt anybody, ever
i was away to take my pain kileers and a thought came into my head bout taking to many off them, a while ago it was jumping off the roof and for some strange reason i wanted to jump out infron of a train.
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Looks like ive not really got a best friend anymore.

Now that she has got a girlfriend i hardly see her, she always makes promises then brakes them, like last week i was suppost to be meeting her on the mon but she didnt turn up she went to her girl friends instead, so i txt her and she txt bk saying sorry she forgot and that she would definatly meet me 2 morrow. Well same thing happend, anyway that went on for 4 days, in the end i just gave up and didnt bother phoning her or txting her again, so i havnt herd from her for over a week.

Any i just found out this morning that her and her girlfriend have got a flat together in newport, so looks like i will practically never she her, probably once in a blue moon.

Im pissed of at her because making the promises then braking them to go and meet her.

I thought we were friends but obviously not.

Anyway that now leaves me the like no friends looks like im going to lead a very lonely life, well wendy sumtimes cums through but only bout once a week.

Im all alone, there's no one here beside me lol.

Ach who cares i prefer to stay in with my self for company anyway lol

What would i do without the internet.

Part from the friend thing having a bad day with my back lol its fucking killing me, no joke so im taking as much painkillers as possable which make's u feel really spaced lol.

Back from Leeds where i had my hospital appointment with professor Bird, the Ehlers danlos syndrome specialist dude.
He gave me a diagnosis of Ehelers danlos syndrome type 2 and said that i was very hypermobile, he also noticed sumthing wrong with my feet said the arches were really high.

Anyway he wants me to go back down and stay as an inpatient for up to 3 weeks and i will get a proper assessment done, loads of physio therapy, occupational therapy and tests.

He said ill prob get the phone call within 4 to 6 weeks to go down, but not looking forward to it at all 3 could be in hospital for 3 weeks with no computer and no internet what will i do i will be lost lol.

Mums grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Just fell out wi my mum, she being such a cow, seriously fell out with her over a doctors appointment lol

My scar from my shoulder op burst open a bit and is kind of infected so got antibiotics, everything seems to always go wrong.

Found out that the doc has never made a refferal to orthopedics for my hips, thats a year ive been asking them to do it, seen like every doc in the surgery but it still hasnt been done so now i have to wait even longer with my hips in agony cause they didnt reffer me. twats.

Ive hardly herd from my mate since shes got a new girl friend (shes gay) i get the occasional phone or txt, but if i phone her i get oh im busy tonight oh right so wat u been up to, oh nothing at all ive just been working thats why i havnt phoned u. lie cause i find out later that all week shes been with her. Its not the fact that she was with her its the fact off why lie about, why not tell me.
The other night i phoned her after she finished work she said im to tierd tonight im away to go to bed, aye shit cause i seen her with her girl friend an hour later.

Any way cause ive not seen her, im sad and got no other friends, so ive been in my house all the time doing NOTHING oh the joy doesnt that sound fun.

Im ment to be going to see her tonight but dont know if i can be botherd cause her girl friend will be there and ill be sitting there like a gooseberry while they 2 chat and that, or she wont be there but all i will get all nite is storys bout her and her girlfriend, and what theyve been up to. boring.

well see wat happens.

Ive had my shoulder op and its fucking killing me no joke it is so sore. The surgion dude said it was allot looser than my right but the surgery went well and fingers crossed it should work. whooo hoooo no more shoulder dislocations for a while.
Anyway im of the now cause my shoulder is agony so im away to take my painkillers and have a lie down lol.

Only 8 days to go till i go in to hosp for the op on ma shoulder, im starting to get really nervous, i know its stupid but still.
Going to be soooo boring 4 days in hosp and not being on the comp for 4 days omg ill get withdrawl symptoms.

Oh well at least soon it will fixed fingers crossed, it will stop dislocating and not be so pain full. Hope it works.
My knee and hip has started to play up as well lol if its not one thing its another, my knee and hip have started dislocating so walking the now is a bit well.... painfull i can only walk so far then my hip or knee will dislocate and i fall,
On top of feeling like im 90 years old, Homer has been sooo bad.... DOH

no but seroiusly homer (1 of ma tics lol) has been driving me crazy, its giving me a really sore head and hand, and more or less constant.
Wat i wouldnt give at this moment to spend a day in the life of some one else.
my other tics dont seem to bother me as much maybe cause there not sore or as sore. They tend to be more annoying to other people.
The neck streaching is a right pain in the neck mind u.

I was up most of last night cause i decided to make
my self something to eat before i went to bed, bad idea cause i had to keep getting up all night to make sure i turned off the cooker.
The last couple of days have kind of been, i dnt know how to explain it really but ive not had a good few days lol
everything just seems to be getting to me and annoying me the now. My computer refussed to work so i got really pissed off with it ended up taking a mental on a wall guess who won? yep the wall, ended up with a brused, cut and swollen hand. Think i would have learnt by now that u can never win a fight with a wall but obviously not.

Wow cant believe its 2006 already, its scary. Had quite a good night last nite wendy was here staying the night so was my mums mate, we all got a bit 2 pissed lol.
im starting to get a bit worried cause ive started to have the urge to swear, well it got worse on xmas day,my uncle was over fae holland and every 1 was sitting dwn eating there xmas lunch, i just got the urge, i couldnt help it but shouted really load taxi for a couple of fannies, omg ive never been so embarresed. Now when ever i pass a taxi i get the urge to shout taxi for a couple of fannies. lol wis hi had never watched still game now. Not only that but every so often about once an hour i have to shout fuck or cunt.
Ive named one of my tics homer cause its like watg homer simpson does know wen he hits his head and says doh, well that tic is getting so bad at the moment to.
I really hope ive not started the swearing tic.

well christmas is over for another year. I had a good christmas it was a bit weird though cause my uncle was over from holland and all he done was drink, kind off spoilt it a bit.
Anyway hes away home now and it will soon be new year, god am i dreading new year, i cant really be botherd with it, anyway well c wat happens.
its only 3 weeks 5 days till i get ma op on ma shoulder im getting quite nervous bout it but sure it will b fine.
omg this dude that i knew fae school chris well he moved 2 england a few years ago but now hes moved back 2 scotland, he keeps calling me and cuming 2 the door for me, i know he is only after 1 thing and hes not getting it from me but hes just not getting the hint that im not interested, hes phones ma house 5 times 2 day and ma mob 7. i wish he would get the point and fuck off basically. What makes it worse is ma mum who doesnt know wat he is really like is trying to get me to go out with him, she thinks i need more friends and to socialise more. grrrrr im happyb as i am, well happy ish yeah i wouldnt mind more friends and to socialise more but i cant, its hard to explain but guess im just not a ppl person.
Part from that ive got a sore back and my shoulders a bit sore but not as bad as it can be so fingers crossed it stays like that for a bit eh.
Anyway going the now 2 get ma hot water bottle lol
im not feeling 2 great and feeling sick so think ill have a early night.

OMG my hip is agony to day cant believe how sore it is.
GRRRRRRRRRRR........ I hate having eds its soooo painfull, im 19 but feel more like 90.
Its so embarassing aswell cause sometimes like now i need allot of help to do things like getting dressed, or cutting up my food. feel like a baby some times.

Slacker Kid

High school was a place you showed up occasionally, but you didn't really leave a mark. You hated rules, authority, and structure. In fact, you still do.

Thats so true, lol

Heya
im bored again. Bored and ive only been up for half an hour, anyway think ill go out for a fag the now cause my mum and dad have just left to out 2 the horses so be back in a min.................
Sorted now ive had ma fag.........
Anyway it was my niece Niamhs birthday party yesterday,it was good it was fancy dress they were all so sweet. After the party me and my 2 mates went up to the cinema to see harry potter i though it was a bit scary like but it was brilliant.
Had such a sore neck i could hardly move it.
Ts and cinemas really dont go lol think some off the ppl got really annoyed at my throat clearing all the way through it. if i was them id prob be really annoyed to though.
Going to go the now thats my peace shattered niamhs just came in.

Hiya.
Im bored, need something exciting to do.
Went up to the hosp 2 day had my kidney appo, they took bld and told me to back in 6 months. so all gd now all ive got is my heart scan in dec then hopfully ill have no more hosp appoi till jan yeah
Me and 2 mates went to the cinema yesterday, we went to c in her shoes it was quite shit like boring.oh well suppose ill go get ma tea then maybee go to the pub 4 a bit.

Hiya
Had a good day toady, well kind off. Went out on Bob 2 day (horse) Wendy stayed over last nite she went out 2 the pub with my sister, she came in pissed lol so funny.
My wrist has started to dislocate today oh the joy another thing. Nothing like my shouldrs though so not to bad, could be worse.
Anyway as i was saying before i kind of lost the plot a bit, went out on Bob 2 day it was good but hes a bit boring he is a really safe cob and is happy with walking and trotting but i was kind off wanting him to canter but he wasnt having any off it, so it was a bit boring, my mum and sister thinks thats fine but it bores me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm think im just after some excitment in my life. If only........................
Oh well lokks like ill be heading off to bed now, such a exciting life sleep, watch tv occansionally go out on bob, eat, sleep think thats why i miss work so much it bores me to death being in the house all the time, and to think some off my mates think ive got it made getting paid but dont have to work, yeah dont think so some how wish i was at work and its no fun not being able to work cause off ehlers danlos and being in the house is soooooooo boring sure they would change there mind if they knew what its really like but never mind.

I hate Eds.
Im annoyed cause my mum and sister are getting on at me for being crabbit, im sure they would be to if they were in pain 24/7
Another thing why cant they understand that i cant help the tics, they keep telling me stop it and i cant help it but they wnt understand.
I hate my life so much wish i was some one else or i wasnt here attol,